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Tori
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miight need some help with my fanfic...

on Friday, July, 21, 2006 1:45 AM
my fanfic http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2252881/1/ is becomming hard to finish. I don't know what to do with it. If someone would please give me some pointers, it would be highly appreciated.

I think I had a story for a while, but it dissappeared from my mind.

Please help...and if you wanted...I could put some of you guys in it.

I would really like to finish it, but my mind drew a blank.where to buy abortion pills online an abortion pill buy abortion pills onlinei need to buy the abortion pill abortion pill order abortion pill

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Tori
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Re: miight need some help with my fanfic...

on Thursday, July, 27, 2006 1:25 AM
Sooo...maybe I should just start a new one, then? No one has any suggestions at all?where to buy abortion pill http://blog.bitimpulse.com/template/default.aspx?abortion-types buy abortion pill onlinewhere to buy abortion pills online an abortion pill buy abortion pills onlineabortion pills read here abortion pills onlinewhere to buy abortion pills online link pill for abortion online

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Boingo_Buzzard
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Re: miight need some help with my fanfic...

on Thursday, July, 27, 2006 10:53 AM

It's good, but I have a couple of suggestions:

1) The story seems to rely on a lot of back-story that I am not familiar with and almost leaves you a bit confused as to what that was all about or what happened. Maybe you could explain or expand on that a bit.

2) "User" is a common computing term that's been around long before Tron. RAM's programmer would know what that means.

3) Since Tron is an established character it seems a bit OUT of character for him to say something like "Maybe we just can’t trust a user’s word.” I understand that in this story he’s your character, but when using something that’s already established you can’t push their definition TOO far beyond what’s already known about them. Tron seems a bit too different in this story and it makes it awkward.

4) The story seems to be more dialogue than anything else. I'd like more of a feeling of being inside the computer, via some descriptive sections, not just being told that she's now inside the computer and going from conversation to conversation.

It's good, and a good exercise in writing.

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Psycho warrior
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Re: miight need some help with my fanfic...

on Friday, December, 08, 2006 3:02 AM
Ah, surprised to meet you, I read your fic before I joined this site. I'm also on FF.net under the name Jazzerman. I normally just shoot from the hip when I write my fics, but I'll try to help out.

I suggest maybe a chapter about how Tori met tron, a sort of flash back chapter if you will.abortion pills online http://www.kvicksundscupen.se/template/default.aspx?abortion-questions cytotec abortionwhere to buy abortion pills online an abortion pill buy abortion pills onlinei need to buy the abortion pill abortion pill order abortion pillonline purchase abortion pill abortion pill abortion pill online purchase


 
Tori
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Re: miight need some help with my fanfic...

on Sunday, December, 24, 2006 1:27 AM
Oooo, yeah...'cause I gave up on the first one.

dude.

that'd totally work

thanks, man.

Geez...I should just try rewriting the whole friggen' thing...now that my writing is better than it was when I wrote that...where to buy abortion pills online an abortion pill buy abortion pills onlinei need to buy the abortion pill read here order abortion pillabortion pills i need to buy the abortion pill abortion pills online

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