Kamui.EXE: *Preforms a Ryoko and trips everyone who can be tripped* Oops! I guess my foot slipped! *Opens a box* EEK! Revenge of Sketch's SMILIES! *Hides*

~Kamui.EXE

Your move. *evil grin*

Heya, Doug! You must be new in this combat. But I feel proof that you bear superior powers. Can you join me?

We're going to wreak havoc on the WHOLE system!

Back to the story....... *evil grin*

Morph: *rerezzes* BHK, what the hell did you done to me??!?!!? >
Well..... I'm just making sure that the forces of good WIN..... Alan! Come over here!
*Alan rezzes in*
Alan: Wellwellwell, must be the young Tron-warrior......

Hey Alan, prove me that you're by kickin' the MCP on the core!
Alan: No prob, friend.
Atrus! Get rid of these Goa'ulds RIGHT NOW!
Atrus: Aye, my commander! I'll make sure of it!


*a large battle began as Atrus attacked the Goa'uld.Exes*
Hey Morph! A robot just for ya to blow up! *points to Skynet*
Skynet: Wha? me?

*a rumble begins.*

Me: Any last words, Sark?
(Sark turned, and what he has sawn is me holding the Deleter, a weapon that, in one hit, shall derez the strongest enemy)
Sark: NO!
(I pressed the trigger of the Deleter, and the powerful beam derezzed Sark) Whopper!
WOPR: Who are you calling WOPR a whopper?!

Excellent. But I have better. Updated idiocy.

*a million s roam in*
: This is NOT too good..... This is not too good... I am surrounded by idiots...: Master! A poacher called BHK has invaded us!
: Send out the Lawnmower Man to obliterate him... and his pitiful forces! Not to mention the fools that surround me!
: As you wish.
:

Meanwhile...

: This is gonna be fun. The will suffer my ultimate might!
Lawnmower: *warps in* You dare invading the ?!
: This is not good... THIS IS NOT TOOO GOOD!Lawnmower: Feel my wrath!
>(: Oh yeah? *shows a sexy picture of Jobe*
Lawnmower: GAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! You shall pay for your illucid attempts!
*BHK plants a bannana peel, and dashes away from the attack path of Jobe, then he slips*
Jobe: WhoahaohaahoHAOHAOHAAOHAOAHWHOAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Back on the lair...
*cameramonitor labeled "Jobe" is disconnected*
: One of my best men of date.... lost to this mere kid program.... I'll send out another of my top generals..... he is named..... SIGMA...

Yet more.......

Dillinger: Who is that guy who just fainted? Why does he look like me? And Master-C, w-why do you w-w-want to absorb m-m-me? And what do you mean by digital world?
Me: You're inside the computer. This is what it looks like to the programs.
MCP: Wake up, Sark! And Dillinger, I want to absorb you because YOU ARE'NT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! THIS IS MY DOMAIN! I WON'T HAVE ANY USERS MESSING WITH IT!
Zlot#1: Thorne is the Master User! If he wishes to rule your "domain", which he does, it is blasphemy to try to stop him!
MCP: One, this isn't Thorne, and two, SHUT UP YOU CORRUPTED PROGRAM!
Weyoun: What is going on here?
Me: Go cowtow to a shapeshifter.
Weyoun: Why am I in this adsurd suit?
Me: Cause you're digitized.
Weyoun: Digitized?
Me: Turned into a computer program.
Weyoun: This can't be the will of the Founders.....well I suppose I'll try to blend in...
Me: If you wanna blend in here, it's not Founders, it's Users.
Sark: *wakes up* Dillinger.....the User who wrote the MCP......actually wrote the MCP.......should I be bowing?
MCP: No, you should be setting this place up so I can absorb him.
Me: *sees an oppurtunity to make Sark rebel* You gonna let him get away with absorbing your User? Huh? Huh?
MCP: Shut UP.....

I regret that I am incapable of not writing this stuff!

MCP: Ok, I don't CARE what Sark does, I'll absorb this pathetic excuse for a so-called User right here!
Me: Dude.......
Weyoun: I shall endevour to remove myself from the situation......*runs at the entry port and crashes into it* Ow.....
Me: You know, this would be a perfect moment for Thorne to fall out of the sky.....it would be a real icebreaker....
Zlot: Indeed.
MCP: Who is this Thorne, anyway?
Zlot: The Master User!
Me: Oy....
MCP: There is no Master User. There is only me.
Zlot: What kind of twisted, sacreligious logic is THAT?
MCP: Hmmm......logic.......that gives me an idea....
Me: Uh-oh......
MCP: Bring in the logic probe!
Sark: That's my line!
MCP: I say it belongs to me! In fact, I OFFICIALLY APPROPRIATE THAT LINE FROM SARK! There. Now that line is officially MY line. END OF LINE!
Me: Whoever's line it is.......
MCP: IT'S MINE!
Sark: I still say it's mine......
MCP: Shut up.........
Sark: I want my line back...
MCP: IT'S MY LINE! WHOEVER TRIES TO STEAL IT WILL BE DEREZZED! IT'S MY LINE, I SAY! MINE!
Me: Dude........
*a red comes in with a logic probe(visualize it how you will, but it's NOT a battering ram, I tell you!)*
Me: So THAT'S what it is..........
Sark: Get that thing out of here....
Red: Yes sir....*starts to leave with the probe*
MCP: No, keep it. I'm using it to interrogate the green one...
Me: Thank goodness I'm not green......for more reasons than one...
Red: *leaves without probe*
MCP: You have one chance, green boy.....tell me who Thorne is without any of that Master User nonsense.....or else...........
Bart: The suspense is killing me, man.....*dies of suspense*
Me: Is there a doctor in the house?
Zlot: Feel the corruption, rediculous instrument of abominably NON-CORRUPTED torture! *corrupts logic probe*
Sark: Oh well.....bring in the....OTHER LOGIC PROBE! I got a new logic probe line, yay!
MCP: Shut UP.....................

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Me: I am doomed....
Sark: I noticed that...
Dillinger: I am not a whiny criminal...*whines* I mean, I'm gonna die so you might as well take it back...
Me: See what I mean? I know how you feel, though. I'm gonna die too.
Zlot: Die? What is that supposed to mean?
Me: Be derezzed, you idiot.
Zlot: What did I do?
Me: I meant I'm going to die-I mean derezz! Not you!
Zlot: Who are you going to derezz then?
Me: Aug! I'm going to be derezzed! Do I have to spell it out for you?
MCP: Evidently so.
Me: Who asked YOU?! If it's not enough that I'm going to die, I'm going to die with my head on the verge of exploding.
Weyoun: Perhaps your head exploding is what will kill you.
Me: Thanks alot.
Dillinger: *runs*
Me: Sure. NOW he runs.
MCP: SARK! GET HIM! ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO LIVE, GET HIM!
Me: Yay! I'm not doomed! *runs after Dillinger through entry port and comes out in the middle of...*
Me: The progress bar? From 2.0? Great.
Random dude: Who are-GAH! Oh my User, that is one oversized Zlot!
*programs run around and yell*
Thorne: Oversized Zlot? OVERSIZED ZLOT? I've derezzed programs for less...
Weyoun: Where are we NOW?
Me: Somewhere.
Same random dude: WHO are you? What are you doing with THEM? *gestures to corrupted people*
Me: Who we are is a long story since we'd all need to introduce ourselves, and what we're doing with them I have absolutly no clue.
Thorne: Oversized Zlot?! You require a profiler, program! I am no Zlot! I am-
Me: SHUT UP!
Same random dude: That's a virus with an ego if I ever saw one. Who does he think he is, Thorne or something? *laughs*
Me: Um....
Weyoun: It was my understanding that-
Me: Now is not the time, Mister Shapeshifter Worshipper...Um, random dude...he kind of...
Thorne: I AM Thorne, you idiot! What did you think I was, some inferior virus? I am the Master User!
Me: *rolls eyes* Great.
*random dude's eyes threaten to pop out of his header*
Me: So, um, have you seen a red dude? Looks kind of like our friend here, *gestures at Sark* but without the antennae.
SRD(same random dude) :NO! I will NOT be a party to the infection of an innocent program!
Thorne: You'll tell us if you've seen him and where he went, or a program WILL be infected, and it won't be him...
Me: The plot thickens...
Sark: Shut up...
SRD: Alright! Alright! He went that way!
Me: Thanks. Sorry for any trauma we may have caused you. Bye!
(later, as we walk along a deserted street in the net city)
Me: Why do I get the feeling that the dude we talked to just pointed in a random direction to save his own neck?
Thorne: He will pay...
Me: Take it out on Dillinger. Assuming we ever find him.
Sark: 42...
Me: Of course. Thanks, Sark.
Thorne: For what?
Me: 42.
Weyoun: That makes no sense. You're thanking him for a number.
Me: No, for the answer.
Thorne: What answer?
Me: THE answer.
Weyoun: What is the question?
Me: I have my theories, but no one's sure.
Weyoun: Then what's the point?
Me: 42.
Sark: What are your theories?
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Weyoun: Is now really the time for human jokes?
Me: It's not a joke, it's what I think the question is.
Thorne: Chicken crossing the road...that sounds vaugely familliar...
Sark: What's a chicken?
Me: Look it up.
Sark: Whatever...

SOMEONE READ THIS, OK?!


*the blue dude who got corrupted in that cutscene in 2.0 materializes*
Me: Oh, great.
Thorne: *corrupts Dillinger's cycle*
Blue email dude: Wha?!?!
Me: Welcome to the sector a là lunacy.
Dillinger: *jumps out of greenified cycle* GAH!
Thorne: *sees blue dude* Him? What is he doing here?
Blue email dude: GAH! *hides*
Sark: *seizes Dillinger's arm* Gotcha!
Me: Yay! I'm not doomed! *dances*
Dillinger: *wimpers*
Me: There he goes again...
Sark: Holy byte...I just realized that I am currently gripping the arm of the User that wrote the MCP...
Me: There HE goes again...
Weyoun: This is madness...
Me: So I've noticed.
Dillinger: I wrote the MCP, and you too, you ungratefull little...
Sark: *wrestles with the closest thing he has to a consience and wins* I just won't let myself give a gridbug...Hey! Blue! Get over here!
Me: What do you want with him?
Blue email dude: *pokes head out of hiding place* Who are you?
Me: *realizes that to blue email dude Sark is a evil historical figure or something* You better sit down...







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Thorne: *randomly corrupts another filebin*
Sark: Alright, enough with the filebins already. Let's head back to the MCP.
Email dude: I think I'll stay here.
Sark: Nope. You're coming with us.
Me: What's the point of taking him? He's just a dude from your future.
Sark: He's delusional. Spouting nonsense about the MCP being derezzed. This is an impossibility. The MCP is eternal. This program belongs on the Grid.
Email dude: Grid? As in Game Grid? Ok, I am definitly staying here.
Me: Good idea.
Thorne: You will put him on no Game Grid. He is mine. He will be corrupted; it is his fate to serve me.
Me: Uh oh, he's getting into character...
Email dude: *wimpers*
Me: Not you too.
Sark: Whatever. *opens up entry port, and we step into...*
Me: O-kaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
Thorne: Why does all this look familiar?
Me: You saw it on TV in another life. True story.
Thorne: ...
Sark: Where are we?
Weyoun: We're on a starship...
Dillinger: Impossible...we're...
Me: In the mess hall on Star Trek: Voyager. Good thing there's no one here, or there would be a security team on our heads right about now...
Weyoun: So this is a Federation vessel?
Sark: What's a Federation vessel?
Me: Yep. Federation. But we're in the Delta Quadrant, for reasons that are too complicated to explain.
Weyoun: What reasons?
Sark: Delta Quadrant?
Mickymouse, who is here for some reason: Star Trek?
Neelix: *walks in and stops short at the sight of our strange party* Who are you?
Me: *goggles*
Dillinger: Oh, great.