Be as random as possible! go nuts! If you win you'll get THE GRAND PRIZE! One day with a smelly hobo and a liftime supply of gym socks! Then theres 1st place which is a lucky glow in the dark snorkle. 2nd place is a bagle encassed in gold tinfoil! 3rd place is a smelly towel and a plate of liver and onions. 4rth is absolutly nothing, and if you get last you must drink orange juice AFTER BRUSHING YOURE TEETH! DUM! DUM! DUM!

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OK... Here is my attempt of being a blithering idiot...

I started out as a crewton farmer shortly after the great exodus from Six Flags. With no money and no crewtons to sell, my uncle died of shame and I inherited a cheese-burger mine located between a rock and a hard place. I was so excited since I was trying to save up some money to attend the University of Nintendo, but had to attend Antarctica State University instead. I majored in Beer 101 and minored in Kinky Sex-ology. I was so proud.

After I got kicked out of school for my outrageous political views on popcorn, I was forced to sell my cheese-burger mine to Microsoft and buy a house on Planet X where I worked as a free-lance Gynecologist and a part-time Ice-cream Man. It was then that I realized that in order to really make it in life, I must do what every good Irish boy should do and sell more drugs to squirrels. I found some success in that.

A few years later, I married a one legged, 2 foot, 800 lbs. China woman whose father sold light sabers and tacos on the black market. Life was good till a UFO crashed on my house, killing my wife and my coffee table. I was so upset that I couldnt duct-tape the coffee table back together so I killed the aliens with a spoon and sold their UFO to a Chevy dealer in Idaho for the going rate of 1,500 lumps of coal. Dont you just hate it when that happens?

Two weeks later I went back to school at the Illinois State Penitentiary and got my degree in Serial Killer. I was soon to become a good politician and decided to run for President of the Mushroom World. After I was impeached for two terms I started reflecting on my life since I was about to turn 6 years old and I felt that I havent accomplished anything.

I called up Hello Kitty on her cell phone while she was treating her herpes with medication and I asked her if I could get a job as a Leprechaun stripper at her strip club. She said that she doesnt do Leprechauns, so I knew that I had to go back as a free-lance Gynecologist. Which is where I am at now.

So the moral of this story is that Im full of crap.

I'm a Duck. Quack. Quack.

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he killed himself.

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the end.

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